Monday, December 22, 2008

Good experience

I had a really good experience today. I went with two other sisters from my ward and helped dress a sister who passed away last week. I have never done this before, and was surprised at how sweet the experience was. We dressed her in the temple clothing and she looked so nice afterward. This sister had passed away from breast cancer and had been suffering for quite some time. It was nice to see her at peace.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..."

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Well, maybe not outside, but Jamie has been busy decking the halls inside and I must say, it looks mighty festive.

Jamie loves putting up the Christmas village and since living in Phoenix, we haven't put it up until this year.

From far left: Jerusalem and Germany, then moving right is London, school and park and a fair.

We have about 70 other houses that we did not put down, they are currently up on a shelf in our family room.

This is a part of the wall the houses are on. Maybe one of these days, we will have a house big enough to put them all out.

Monday, December 15, 2008


I know it is late in coming, but we had a great Thanksgiving, the only thing that would have made it perfect is if Kristi and Jared and their kids were also with us! :(

We went to Pennsylvania to Steve and Lindsay's house and had a great time. The best thing besides the grandkids, is that we found out that Lindsay is expecting again. We are thrilled and just hope the grand kids keep coming!

Wednesday night jamie and I babysat, while Steve and Linds had a long overdue date. We had fun watching 'Tinkerbell" and made chocolate chip cookies. Lana was a big help

Papa, Lana and Ike eating chocolate chip cookies and milk before bedtime.

Thanksgiving day, we had a great Turkey dinner thanks to Lindsay and Steve and enjoyed every bite. The next day, Doug and Lee and their kids drove in from Nashville. Once they were rested up, we piled in the cars later that day and drove to Hershey PA. Chocolate is one of my life lines, so I was thrilled!

Ike, Kevin and Lana at the Hershey store

There was a ride at this Hershey store that took you on a tour and showed you how the chocolate is made. The kids had a good time on this, and so did the adults, nice not to have to walk!

After the tour, we went to dinner and then came back to the Hershey park where there were rides the kids could go on, like the Merry go round, and all sorts of kiddy rides. They had a great time, but it was sooooo cold! The kids even saw Santa's reindeer!

The next day, we went home. It was a short trip, but very fun and it was fun to see the kids and grandkids. Maybe one of these years, we will have the whole family together for Thanksgiving! It's a dream of mine!! :)

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Grandma again!

So, I am going to be a Grandma again! Lindsay, is pregnant with her number 3 child and my number 8 grandchild. She and Steve are not going to find out what it is until she delivers. It will be a fun surprise! I am looking forward to loving another sweet grandchild! Can't wait!!!!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

New Orleans 1st Branch

This last Sunday, Jamie and I visited the New Orleans 1st Branch. It was a great experience, and I am afraid I can't do justice by telling about it, because "you had to be there", but I will tell you anyway.
As we entered the church, this cute African American older gentleman greeted us at the door and gave us our program, and we went in and sat on the back row. All through the meeting, this man mumbled under his breath, making comments after the testimonies and I expected him any time to stand up and say "Hallelujia!" I thought it was cute, but Jamie thinks he must have not been quite right. Anyway, as we sat there, I looked around and now, if you are like me, when I go to a new ward or branch, I immediately make a judgement, I know, it isn't the best thing to do, but I picture myself as a new member of the ward I am visiting. Sunday, was no exception, I counted about 60-70 people in this small plain chapel, and thought to myself, "I certainly wouldn't want to move into THIS branch". Little did I know, but by the end of the meeting my opinion would be different.

After the sacrament was passed, the congregation was invited to get up to bear testimonies, including the visitors, they were reminded that they were asked to fast for missionary efforts, since they were a branch, they have hopes of one day becoming a ward. The first couple of people came up to the podium, and bore their testimonies, one lady gave a history of her life for the past couple of years, and told how her house got gutted from hurricane Katrina, and the challenges she faced. The next sister was a cute young young lady who was from the Czech Republic. She and her husband had come here last year and she spoke about how this year has been one big miracle. She improved on her English, they found a beautiful cheap apartment, and she did well in her college classes. As she spoke in her broken English, I was taken by how humble she was and was so grateful for all that she had been through this year good and bad.

After she spoke, a middle aged African American man came up and as he stood, you could tell, something was wrong, he had a hard time getting up and walking to the podium. As he started to speak, all he could do was cry, he couldn't speak the words, and you could tell he was trying so hard to. He could manage to say "teach me to walk in the light", that was about all. At this time, his wife came up and stood beside him to give support. She didn't say anything and neither could he, finally, they started singing "Teach me to walk". They sang two verses together. It was his way of bearing his testimony. We were all in tears, not because it was such a beautiful way they sung, but the simplicity and the sincerity with which they sang. At the end of the meeting, the Branch President stood up and told us that this brother, had had a stroke, and even though his mind was completely fine, his speech was affected by the stroke, and the only verbal thing that wasn't affected was his singing. It was such a great meeting, everyone in the chapel was crying including Jamie and I. After the meeting, I just wanted to sit there, and stay all day. When we left, I told Jamie that I could totally live this branch!. It was a very sweet experience, that I will always remember.

Sunday, November 30, 2008


Hogerbeetstraat 16, 2242 Wassenaar NL

Kristi was looking online for pictures of windmills in Holland and came across the house we lived in when we were over there. It is actually a 'townhouse' type house. It is very typical of Holland housing. Apparently the house is up for rent again, and so we were excited to see pictures of the outside and the inside. It brings back great memories. Ours was the one with the pine tree in the yard and the silver car in front, next to the white picket fence.

The neighbors had a golden retriever, and every morning she would walk to the market, and bring the dog. The cute thing was the dog would have a leash attached to its collar, and have the other end of the leash in his mouth. He was walking himself!

Friday, November 21, 2008


So, today was the big day for Stephenie Meyer fans. "Twilight" came out, and although I thought of staying up and attending the midnight showing last night, I value my sleep too much and knew the movie would still be there.
My friend Correen and I went to a 9:45 am showing of it today and it only cost us $5 to get in plus of course the bottle of water and milk duds I bought which cost $7.50-definitely a rip off, but it is what it is.
Although I am not a huge fan of the twilight series, I have read the 1st and 2nd book and am almost done with book 3, I know, I am soooo slow in reading this series. Most of my friends have read the series several times and I am barely finishing it for the first time.
So, it was a good movie, different, but good. Not sure about Edward, the jury is still out on him.
I won't say much, but it pretty much follows the book which I think is a good thing and I think you big fans of "Twilight" will enjoy it.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


So, Lee and Jen were right..The mystery picture was actually a really moldy fruit salad that I discovered still in my garage refrigerator that has probably been in there a month or so! Trust me, it smelled as bad as it looked. Obviously I don't use that refrigerator much. I guess I just forgot about it. YIKES... But it did actually kinda look like your granite countertops Jared and Kris, I wish it was, actually! IT WAS DISGUSTING!!!!!

Reminder Kristi--you may want to take that tomato shrimp drink you "so dearly love" out of your garage refrigerator Dad left in there, before it looks like my moldy fruit salad.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Biggest Loser

I don't know how many of you are following the Biggest Loser show, but I cannot stand the Blue team. Except I do like Amy (she wasn't an original). But, seriously they are so rude and I don't know if I want to watch it anymore, because it makes me so mad! They are a bunch of crybabies and whiners and act like they are in junior high. Wait...... Brady just got sent home tonight! YAHOO!!!! There Vicky!! Amy you are my hero!
I guess I'll watch it next week.


Any Guesses???????

Saturday, November 8, 2008


We were in Utah this year for Halloween. Here are some pictures.

Lucas was a Transformer, Tyler was Buzz Lightyear, and Sammy was a Fairy Ballerina

This is Jared and Lucas being silly, while carving a pumpkin.

Cute Sammy waiting to carve pumpkins

Tyler opening presents after trick or treating

Tyler and his spiderman cake after trick-or-treating


Jamie and I went camping over Labor day weekend about 3 hours north east of Phoenix. For his birthday around that same time, I bought him a couple of fishing poles-one for me and one for him. He had told me a few weeks earlier that he wanted to learn to fish.

So, at the end of our weekend, we packed up our trailer and headed for home, We saw a sign for a lake and decided to try our hand at fishing. Why not eh? I remember as a child fishing with my dad, he LOVES to fish. I remember dad showing me how to bait the hook with worms, which is actually quite disgusting, but I did it.
So, I figured I could do it now that I am much older and wiser. We bought some worms and proceeded down to the shore of the lake. There were a lot of people there, families especially, and so we tried to find a spot farther down so we wouldn't make fools of ourselves in front of the masses.
We plopped ourselves down and proceeded to bait the line and start casting. We were quite proud of ourselves, because we actually did quite well with casting. We didn't look as green as we were. After a few minutes a large family came down and started fishing next to us. There were several young kids, and they just started pulling fish in like crazy, we were humiliated, because we hadn't gotten one fish, we did have bites though.

Here is Jamie fishing for the first time.

Well, just as we ready to call it a day, I caught a fish! It was so exciting, but when I pulled it out, I didn't know what to do with it. I had no recollection of how to unhook a fish, and what to do with it. So, I ran over with it to the people next to us, the dad had all sorts of gadgets, and he tried to get the hook out. But, unfortunately the hook was too deep in the mouth and so he had to cut the line and we threw the fish in. I felt sooooo bad. Here was this fish who was probably going to die, and it was all my fault!!

But, it was still exciting to catch a fish, a little one, but it was a fish! Sweet!

My little fish

Here is me holding my fish, it blends in with my jacket.

4th of July

So I just downloaded 300+ pictures from our camera of pictures we have taken this summer.

Over the 4th of July we went camping with Kristi and Jared. We met at Zions Park in Southern Utah and had a really good time.

We stayed at "Zion Ponderosa Resort" just outside of the East gate of Zions. It had a ton of stuff to do, a great swimming pool, horseback riding, petting zoo to name just a few things.

This is a picture of Luc, Tyler and Sammy riding horses with a guide. They had a great time. We thought Tyler would be afraid of the horse, but he didn't even bat an eye.

We took a day and went into Zions Park, which was beautiful, but it was sooo hot that we only stayed a few hours. This is a picture of Kristi and Jared and their kids.

We had a good time, but would probably go earlier in the year next time, in April for Easter rather than in July because it was too hot!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Pretty good week! ha

Well, it's friday now and Jamie and I still feel pretty crummy. We must have caught some viral thing and just can't shake it. I went to the doctor yesterday, to see if they could give me an antibiotic or something to help, and see if I have a kidney infection. Last Friday when I woke up, after driving 12 hours, and sleeping for about 3, I had this terrible lower back pain that didn't let up until sunday evening. It was so hard to get up out of a chair or even move side to side, but thankfully Kristi had some ibuprofen that she let me take, which took the edge off, and luckily by monday morning this pain was minimal. So, when I told the doctor this yesterday she checked my urine and found blood in it, and now she thinks I have kidney stones. What? This is Jamie's department. He has kidney stones often and this is one thing I don't want to go through! I am completely fine with Jamie cornering the kidney stone market in our family. All I can say is, sorry kids!
So, Wednesday I get to go and have a renal and pelvic ultrasound, I just hope I don't have an attack like last weekend. That was miserable.
So, besides the sinus infection and the kidney stones, it has been a pretty good week!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

This week

So, we had a wonderful weekend in Utah, with my dad's 80th birthday, and my grandsons 2nd birthday, it was a full but fun weekend. The only big complaint I had is that I booked a luncheon at "Market Street Grill" in Cottonwood for a family luncheon on Saturday for my dad's 80th. He along with everyone else told me that MSG was a GREAT place to eat, fabulous food and atmosphere. Well, the room they gave us was okay, not quite what I expected, but the wsorst thing was, the food. The salad was ho hum, and the Halibut was pretty bad, although I ate all my food because I was famished! My sister was the only one who had steak, and she said it was great, she was the smartest one of the bunch of us! It makes me mad because we got 2nd rate food at a 1st rate (supposedly) restaurant. They charged us $25 for the room, which I wonder why because we were the only ones in the basement area...and then the food was crummy. I don't think I will go back to MSG at least the cottonwood area one. Which is sad, because I love seafood and have heard so many good things about this restaurant. Anyway, I'll just chalk it up to experience.

Sunday morning we went to my brothers church where he blessed his baby- Jake, and it was really nice. I was really glad we went, Paul (my brother) bore his testimony, which I don't know if I have really ever heard it, and it really touched me. He is a good guy!
That evening we had a Thanksgiving dinner with my whole family and it was YUMMY! I of course ate way too much, but just couldn't help myself.
Most of the guys were down watching football, and so a few of us left upstairs played Balderdash!
Seriously, that is a very fun game! It is hard, because you have to make up scenarios, definitions, etc... and that can be tough, but it is funny what some people come up with.

The next morning Jamie and I both woke up Monday morning feeling under the weather, you know scratchy throat, headaches, so we knew we were going to have a "fun" drive back to Phoenix. Well, we decided to stop in Vegas because Jamie had a conference call he had to make, and plus we were both feeling rotten.
Jamie booked us a great room at the Marriott Las Vegas resort, way out in west LV, and it was great. It had a big whirlpool bath tub that I sat in most of the evening trying to relax my body and clear up my congestion.
The next morning we both were feeling lousy still, and headed out to Phoenix. The weather was great and we were anxious to get home to vote and relax. We got home about 2 pm and voted then both went to bed. We were looking forward to watching the election results, and tried to watch them until It was clear that McCain didn't have a chance, so we went to bed for the night.

This morning I was pleasantly surprised and thrilled to see that the Prop 102 in Arizona (marriage amendment) and the propositions in Florida and California also passed! To me this was more huge than the presidential race. I was so glad that even though my candidate didn't win (yes, I voted for McCain), that the most important issue on the ballot did pass. It makes me feel like we won anyway. So I am happy!
Now lets see if we can get Romney in 2012!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Safe in the arms of a man...

Time for another blog, because I am tired of looking at my Prop 102 blog when I open it up.

What is it about men? Now I'm not talking about how they act, but when Jamie is home, at night, I feel safe. I can go to bed, even if he is in the other room, and not be freaked out by some strange noise I hear. But when he is gone, I become all anxious if I hear an unfamiliar sound, or a pack of havalinas squeeling, or the ac goes on and my door pulls shut from the pressure, or the palm tree fronds rub against the window, and my mind starts wandering about all the things that could happen at night to a woman alone in a house etc, etc, etc. When Jamie is home for some reason knowing he is in the house, makes me feel safe and comforted.
So, he was gone all week for business in Louisiana, and I usually don't mind him gone a few days, but this time, It was toooooo long. (I decided he can't go away for a whole week again, unless I am with him).
This trip, I think I was more nervous with him leaving because (and this is really dumb), we put up a "YES on Proposition 102" sign in our yard (for marriage between a man-woman). Some of our friends had their signs stolen, graffiti'd on and so forth, so I didn't know if someone was going to egg our house or torment us because of this sign. I had visions of someone torching our house because of this sign...stupid I know... It seems that this election year is bringing the crazies out by the dozens. Anyway, don't get me started on the election, it makes my blood boil!

So, when Jamie is out of town, I usually go to bed early, around 7:30-8:00 and put in a movie and relax. When I am dozing in and out of consciousness, I wake up enough to turn the TV off. I don't like to turn it off too early or much before 11 pm because then I usually don't fall asleep soon enough and I lay there and hear all sorts of sounds and creeks and it freaks me out. So this week, I haven't gotten a lot of sleep, but tonight I will, because he is home! Yeah!!

During my lonely nights this week, I did watch a cute movie. I bought "Baby Mama." I thought it would be silly and kinda dumb from the previews, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was cute, silly in parts, but well done. The problem though, was that the whole time I was watching Tina Fey, all I could see her as was Sarah Palin. They seriously must have been separated at birth!
I did enjoy the movie for what it was, an entertaining, cute movie that required no thinking whatsoever!

Thats all!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Prop 102-Marriage

For all you Arizonians, I encourage you all to vote YES on prop 102. This is a short statement to define marriage only between a man and a woman. This is a huge issue in California also. A few years back Californians voted in a law that defines marriage as a union only between man and woman. Unfortunately the California Supreme court recently overturned this law, thus all the gay marriages that have been flooding California recently. California is voting this election on a constitutional amendment to define marriage as only between man and woman. By making it an amendment, the supreme courts will not be able to overturn it. This is the same thing here in Arizona, a constitutional amendment not just a law. Florida is also voting on this same issue this election. So, keep us all in your prayers that this will be voted in. And if you live in California, Florida or Arizona, vote YES! It has dire consequences for families and churches if it is not passed. It protects the children, and the family unit. We must stand up for what is right, no matter what the world says.


Lets see, what shall I blog about today. I went to Home Depot yesterday and bought some tomato plants and squash and jalapeno pepper plants to plant in our garden. I also bought a black light. Strange, I know but come to find out, scorpions glow when you shine a black light on them.
It all started a few days back when Jamie saw a scorpion in our hallway. Unfortunately as Jamie was getting the tape for me to pick it up with, the scorpion ran under the door of our hall closet. That sucker was moving quite fast, and we just were not fast enough to catch it. Plus, you don't want to just pick it up with tissue, because it will sting you. So, I opened the door, and couldn't find the darn thing.
So, we went to bed, and decided to invest in a black light to help find this critter before it finds us!
So, last night, I turned off the lights and turned on my black light and went through the closet and all the bedrooms, kitchen, bathrooms, and finally the living room. Low and behold I shined the light in a corner of our living room between couches and there was the scorpion, glowing like it was hit with a high dose of radiation. I yelled for Jamie, and as he kept the light on him, I ran and got some packing tape. We were lucky enough to catch that sucker and I disposed of him outside in the garbage can. I should have gotten a picture but didn't want to dig through the garbage. So, now we are scorpion free, at least for now. I then went outside and "hunted" for scorpions with the black light, but had no luck. Maybe tomorrow night! It was cool. Next time I catch one, I will take a picture of it, I know you are all dying to see it! :)

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

exercise; arghh!

So, for the past 3 weeks or so, a friend and I have been getting up at 5 am and hiking up a mountain for exercise. This is all foreign to me, because I am not an exercise person. I loathe exercising! To me it is boring, and to get up at 5 am....well...I'll just say, I love my sleep. This "hike" is brutal-I am not the most in shape person, so I huff and puff and my leg muscles scream at me as I force my way up the mountain. The best part is reaching the top and looking over the valley we live in. It is beautiful with the sun coming up over the hills, and the saguaro cactus' silouhette against the sunrise backdrop. When we start out at 5, it is dark. No moon, only a few stars and you can hear owls and a few coyotes in the distance. It is a little creepy, but we bring our flashlights, so we can at least see where we are walking. Plus, I am hopeful that the lights keep the coyotes and havalina's away. Now that I have been doing this, I must admit that I really am starting to enjoy it. I automatically wake up at 4:30ish, so I don't have to set my alarm. I enjoy the peacefulness in the early morning and being outdoors in the cooler weather...80's! The very best part is I feel better during the day, I don't feel achey as much and seem to have more energy. I also have lost a few pounds between the exercise and eating better. So I guess exercise does have it's benefits!

Monday, October 6, 2008


I just returned from babysitting 3 of my adorable 7 grandkids. It was so fun and I really hated to leave! Kristi went to Chicago with her best friend Erica and seemed to have a very memorable and fun time, so I had the privilege to fly to Utah and spend 5 fun filled days with her kids. Unfortunately my camera battery was dead, so I didn't get any updated pictures of them. We made a halloween gingerbread haunted house that was a disaster, I threw it in the garbage the next day. Have you seen those kits? They make it sound so easy and the picture on the box is just perfect. Well, when you try to put the house together, the frosting is so thick even after squeezing the tube for 60 seconds like it says, and the walls just don't stay together. But, the kids had fun decorating the roof and needless to say we were all covered with black and orange frosting by the time we were done. We also watched "Flushed away" movie about 4 times, Shrek (one of my favorites), the Incredibles, Cars, took cookies to Grandpa Swint, had Sunday dinner with Grandma and Grandpa Bay and Jenny and Doug, read books, went for a walk, went to Walmart (dangerous place for grandmas and grandkids!) played on the trampoline and had movie nights Friday and Saturday with popcorn, homemade pizzas and had a great time. It is amazing how much I love my grandchildren. All the grandmas I talk to feel the same way about their own. They light up my life, and I love talking to them on the phone, getting little pictures they have colored, cute messages and fun pictures. Keep those pictures coming kids! Hopefully next spring I will be able to go out and babysit the other grandkids. We need to bond you know! (hint). Grandkids are the best, keep 'em coming :) !!!

Saturday, September 27, 2008


Okay, so I am having trouble finding a name for my blog. I just can't seem to find a title that fits me ...yet. "Random thoughts", the newest is probably most like me because I am very random with everything I do. I can come up with the most random comments at church, with my friends and on the phone or wherever I am. So, maybe this is what it will be. We will see. Who knows what the title will be next week.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Thoughts for today

I was looking through a book filled with inspirational quotes. Here are some I really liked- enjoy!

"Let us then be what we are, and speak what we think, and in all things keep ourselves loyal to truth."
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."
Winston S. Churchill

"It's a funny thing about life- if you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it."
W. Somerset Maugham

"Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant."


And this one is in honor of my mom-the eternal optimist:

"A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities; an optimist is one who makes opportunities with his difficulties."
Reginald B. Mansell

Thats all.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Mt. Rushmore-a proud moment

This summer, as my mom and I finished up in Nebraska, we headed for home via South Dakota. We decided to head up to Mt. Rushmore since I had never seen it in person. It was a gorgeous day, cloudless blue sky, rugged hills lined with emerald green meadows dotted with bison. As we approached Mt. Rushmore, I was anxious to see this great land mark that I had only heard of and seen in picture books. I really didn't know what to expect, except some faces of past presidents carved in rock. As we came around the final bend, I looked up and saw this magnificent mountain with sculptures of 4 of the greatest, most influential presidents of this great country. The majestic sculpted mountain against the brilliant blue sky was breath-taking. I was in awe at this great art sculpture and was having trouble fighting back my emotions. I suddenly felt very patriotic ready to sing out on demand the National Anthem. Luckily for mom and those around me, I resisted the urge! It was a time to reflect on what a great blessing it is to live in this great country and how proud I am to be an American. It was to me one of the most spiritual moments that I will not soon forget.

Nebraska corn

This Summer my mom and I went on a road trip to Nebraska, where she was born. It was great to see the tiny town my mom was born in (real tiny town-Ithaca) and to see where she grew up for most of her youth. We stayed at her best friend's house whom she has known since first grade. It was really nice to get to know these good down-home humble friends and get to spend a few days on a real farm where they raise corn. The best part was being able to eat all the fresh corn we wanted. It was the tastiest corn I have ever had. It really made me appreciate the endless hours and hard work that goes into the food we eat. These are good God-fearing, humble people who help make this great country of ours what it is. I am so glad I was able to spend time with my mom, who I don't get to see very often. We had a great time driving and passing train after train after train... I hope we can do it again.

BIOS boot order

Lately, I have had many inquiries on what my BIOS boot order is. you go:
Here's Dougs BIOS boot order. What's yours?

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Stupid movie

So Jamie and I watched a really dumb movie last night... no we didn't go out, we are too tired on Friday nights to go out, usually we come home from work, make dinner... or pick up dinner and climb in bed and watch a movie. So, Jamie went to blockbuster on the way home from work and picked up "What happens in Vegas" with Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutchner. If you haven't see this... don't! It was amateur acting...VERY predictable story line, Cameron Diaz looked old and like she put too much" instant tan" solution on. Ashton was his normal self, playing a loser of a kid, and not doing a very good job of it. The whole time I watched it, I was thinking to myself, who in the heck directed this? I could do a better job. Anyway, it was disappointing, especially since Jamie spent 20 bucks on it.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

this blog thing

Okay, I am finally getting this blog thing going. It is taking forever... trying to figure all of the ins and outs of it. Thanks to Lee, I am slowly getting it done. Anyway, I am a private person, and maybe that is why I have been hesitant to do this. Writing my thoughts, feelings, daily life activities for all to see, is not in my comfort zone. So, I will get uncomfortable and use this as a "non-private" journal. We will see how it goes.